The Name is Muir, John Muir:
The Mole is all a-twitter at news that Sean Connery will co-produce and star in a Paramount Pictures film about a fellow Scot, environmentalist John Muir. The film, based on Alan Duncan Ross and Meridith Burrell's John Muir biography, will be directed by Michael Apted (Gorillas in the Mist, Thunder- heart). Apted's latest film is the new James Bond flick, The World Is Not Enough.

March is Cancer Month: Ever noticed that news stories about cancer "breakthroughs" peak at the end of March? It's no accident. The American Cancer Society's yearly fundraising drive starts April 1. "To-ward the end of March," Barry Peter Chowka ex-plains in Nutrition Science News, "ACS sponsors a Science Writers' Seminar in which a small but influential group of mainstream journalists ... is given a heady dose of the 'good news' about conventional cancer research."

Clinton Set to Blow?:
When President Bush signed the Nuclear Testing Moratorium in 1992, the Department of Energy (DOE) abandoned Project Ice Cap - the last planned full-scale US nuclear test. The anti-nuclear Shundahai Network reports that DOE workers had returned to the Ice Cap drillhole during the spring and were "beginning to install new equipment and electronics." Shundahai fears that this signals DOE's preparations "to resume full-scale nuclear weapons testing within six months of a presidential order." DOE also reportedly has assigned a crew of 160 to expand an underground site for testing subcritical nuclear weapons.

A New Kind of Nash Rambler:
Actor Don Johnson has joined a group of Chinese investors to buy Zebra Motors, a California-based electric vehicle maker. Limited production on the "Model Z Roadster" begins in September. To avoid trademark hassles, the company was renamed Xebra Motors.

Bald Eagle Booted:
Feel like celebrating the bald eagle's removal from the US Endangered Species List? So does the right-wing Defenders of Property Rights (DPR), which claims the government acted "in response to [DPR] lawsuits" - like the one on behalf of a fellow who wanted to build a home within 90 feet of a bald eagle nest. He is now free to build.

The Poop on Koop:
An American Council on Science and Health (ACSH) study has concluded that plastic bottles, toys and teething rings containing phthalates pose no danger to children. Surprise: The ACSH is funded by the plastics industry. A pro-phthalate message was even posted on former US Surgeon General Everett Koop's website [drkoop.com]. Koop chaired the ACSH panel that gave phthalates a clean bill of health. Muckraker Ben White [www.grist magazine.com] notes that Koop's website lifted "full passages of its editorial from a letter sent out ... by a lawyer for the American Plastics Council." The doctor was "dumbfounded" by the extraordinary similarity. "He can't understand how that could have happened."

Clinton Drops the 'ball:
Last April 26, President Clinton rushed from a NATO summit meeting in Washington and left behind the "nuclear football," the briefcase with nuclear-strike launch codes. The briefcase remained chained to a military aide who is supposed to stay at the president's side. The aide managed to walk the half-mile to the White House without getting mugged. Other presidents have fumbled the nuclear football. Jimmy Carter once left the missile launch codes in a suit sent to the drycleaners.

How to Beat the Meat:
Last summer, the irrepressible folks at PETA [888-VEG-FOOD, www.meatstinks.com] hit Washington with a bikini-clad anti-meat lobbyist named Melynda DuVal (a.k.a. the "Veggie Venus"). DuVal's message: "Eating meat can cause impotence." DuVal's advice: "Choose a veggie burger in the kitchen for a whopper in the bedroom."

Mole Kiss:
To Baywatch TV star Pamela Anderson Lee for pleading with President Thabo Mbeki to end South Africa's animal trade and free 14 baby elephants being held for sale to zoos, circuses and safari parks. Lee informed Mbeki that "heartless, money-hungry men ravaging Africa for its animals was something I thought was a thing of the past." Lee, a veteran campaigner for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, also spoke with Monaco's Prince Albert about the treatment of animals in the Monte Carlo Circus Festival.

Mole Kiss:
To TV actor Brandon Brooks, star of NBC's Malibu, California, for refusing to join fellow cast members in a promo event at Sea World. NBC relented and filmed its promo spot at an animal-free amusement park.

Mole Nip:
To Al Gore for pushing the US' largest animal-testing program on the toxicity of 3,000 chemicals. As PETA points out, "most have already been tested" and "are known to be dangerous." The tests could kill 150 million rats, rabbits, guinea pigs, fish, and mice.

Mole Kiss:
To our friends at the Sea Turtle Restoration Project [STRP, PO Box 400, Forest Knolls, CA 94102, (415) 488-0370] for hounding Texas Governor (and presidential contender) George W. "Shrub" Bush to establish a Texas Marine Reserve to protect endangered Kemp's ridley sea turtles. STRP's New York Times ad put it succinctly: "If Governor Bush doesn't save Texas' sea turtles, maybe President Gore will."